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RockysMom
11-25-06, 10:47 PM
Southernness

This is just too good to be true. Those of you born and raised (not reared) in the south will remember fondly what it means to be southern. Those of you not reared in the south might grow to understand us better.


Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't
"HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
_____
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
_____
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
_____
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, ... as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
_____
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance
that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
_____
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept
well.
_____
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is
a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real
crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
_____
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They
also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
_____
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po'
white trash.
_____
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a
turn.
_____
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
_____
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line," .... we talk to
everybody!
_____
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
_____
In the South, y'all is singular, .... all y'all is plural.
_____
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
_____
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red
eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
_____
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a
genuine Southerner!
_____
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots
of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
_____
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on
the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" .. and go your own way.
_____
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose
of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
_____
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your
hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
_____
And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to
hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."

:z7shysterical: :laughing1: :z7shysterical: :laughing1: