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  1. #1
    Senior Member u1arunit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Pittsburgh, PA
    Posts
    366

    The Guy's Rules..

    The Guys' Rules

    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story.
    (
    I must admit, it's pretty good.)
    We always hear
    " the rules"
    From the female side.
    Now here are the rules from the male side.
    These are our rules!
    Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
    ON PURPOSE!
    1. Men are NOT mind readers.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
    or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
    And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problem
    only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a
    Problem. See a doctor.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

    1. If you won't dress like the
    Victoria 's Secret girls,don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
    Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the
    other one

    1. You can either ask us to do something
    Or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus did
    NOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not
    A color Pumpkin is also a fruit. We haveno idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it
    will be scratched
    We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
    Really.

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
    or
    golf.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape.
    Round IS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this.

    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
    But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. :lol:
    Mark
    Steel City Terminators
    '04 Black Cobra
    663RWHP / 665RWTQ

  2. #2
    Junior Member
    Join Date
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    Location
    In a house
    Posts
    11
    What women really mean!!!

    "What do you mean CAN he go? He doesn't need my permission to go with you guys! Ya'll go have fun!"
    Means I'm letting him save face in front of his friends, now he owes me one! (heh, heh)

    "I hate to ask, but this is really important"
    Means DO IT OR SUFFER FOREVER!

    "Do you hear yourself?"
    Means you sound like a idiot/moron etc... You have already lost the argument, shut up and start groveling.


    "Well, at least you tried"
    Means why did you bother with such a lame effort!

    "Did you have fun at the bar?"
    Means What are you, drunk? No way are you getting laid stinking of alcohol!!!

    "My friends all think you're great!"
    Means I lied/exaggerated, now they're jealous, hah! So you better keep acting nice or I'll tell them the truth!


    When she hands you the remote, just shut up and take it! She's tired of hearing you sigh loudly every time she changes the channel or is tired of the annoying remarks you're making about what she's watching. You might as well turn off the TV because she will be making so much noise vacuuming or banging pots and pans around you won't be able to watch the game anyway. Leave and go to the sports bar to watch, then bring home flowers!

  3. #3
    Administrator BurnTire's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Pittsburgh, PA
    Posts
    8,575
    LOL
    OK Good to hear the other perspective.
    Sold
    2004 Cobra, Whipple ,TH-400
    Burning Corn
    9.97 - 135.5

  4. #4
    Member Cloud 9's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    130 MPH E. Interstate 20
    Posts
    38
    +1 on crying as blackmail

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by u1arunit View Post
    The Guys' Rules

    At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally , the guys' side of the story.
    (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
    We always hear" the rules"
    From the female side.
    Now here are the rules from the male side.
    These are our rules!
    Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
    ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers.

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
    We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

    1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
    or the changing of the tides.
    Let it be.

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
    And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want.
    Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work!
    Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work!
    Just say it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

    1. Come to us with a problemonly if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
    Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls,don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
    Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

    1. You can either ask us to do something
    Or tell us how you want it done.
    Not both.
    If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus didNOT need directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color Pumpkin is also a fruit. We haveno idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, itwill be scratched
    We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
    orgolf.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape.Round IS a shape!

    1. Thank you for reading this.

    Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
    But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping. :lol:
    like ur a guy!!!

  6. #6
    Administrator BurnTire's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Pittsburgh, PA
    Posts
    8,575
    Quote Originally Posted by Mater View Post
    like ur a guy!!!
    Mark is taking a beating today.
    Sold
    2004 Cobra, Whipple ,TH-400
    Burning Corn
    9.97 - 135.5

  7. #7
    Senior Member u1arunit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Pittsburgh, PA
    Posts
    366
    Quote Originally Posted by Mater View Post
    like ur a guy!!!
    Like you're not gay.
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    Mark
    Steel City Terminators
    '04 Black Cobra
    663RWHP / 665RWTQ

  8. #8
    Senior Member u1arunit's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Pittsburgh, PA
    Posts
    366
    Quote Originally Posted by BurnTire View Post
    Mark is taking a beating today.
    Bring it on mang!
    Mark
    Steel City Terminators
    '04 Black Cobra
    663RWHP / 665RWTQ

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    1,879
    Gold Award 
    ohhh had to jump in this one.
    Fine we will leave the toilet seat up and the next time you have to take a dump ya better get ready for a swim. lol lol then you see how it feels rofl rofl

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by u1arunit View Post
    Like you're not gay.
    only for u!

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